

Deliver Us From Swedish Furniture
….and lead us into Shenanigans
Archive for the 'wtf' Category
Marky Ramone Condoms? Rubber Rubber Hey!!
Author: tulip
So, you have just signed up for your acting lessons and headed to Minnesota, what else do you need for your fun night out? Ah yes some protection, and what better protection could you want than condoms that are Too Tough to Die (break!) before you Blitzkreig Bob? That’s right, Ramones Condoms!!! This does also explain one thing - why The Ramones would not want to be a Pinhead no more ![]()
read comments (1)New Dog - New Tricks
Author: tulip
I was sent this by a friend of mine with the heading ‘bless’….I just read it looking at my dog staring up at me with her tongue lolling out of the side of her mouth and thought ‘you really are no fun are you?’ The only tricks she can manage (beside the aforementioned staring with tongue lolling) is a quick bark to go out and the ability to suddenly hear something in the distance and fly off my lap leaving some large claw marks across my legs….not quite the same thing is it?
Utter genius this Hema website….it’s also good to learn a foreign language, so pop quiz -
- What is the Dutch for ‘Champagne’?
- What is the Dutch for ‘Blender’?
- and lastly, what is the Dutch for ‘Ghettoblaster’?
and, according to this article, it was only tied as Earth’s second warmest year….very dissappointing really! In the UK, we had no summer to speak of and my brother got married in Australia and the weather in Melbourne was, to be frank, awful! My Mum has some photos of myself and another friend trying to take photos at the 12 Apostles on the Great Ocean Road while we could barely stand in the winds that were blowing. To give you some idea of how *&^%ing cold it was, remember these winds were straight up from the Antarctic and hitting us fill on as we stood on top of the cliffs by the ocean’s edge…..so here’s to summer 2008 ![]()
Keep it real - watch TV!
Author: tulip
I thought this was fantastic.
Have you ever sat around watching some TV show, whether it’s some hospital thing or a legal thing etc. with someone in the profession that sits there tutting and saying, ‘It just doesn’t work like that’? Well how about sitting around watching ‘The Wire’ with a group of ex-gang members, most of whom have served time for some pretty nefarious activities, and getting their opinion on it? Sounds like fun, but I wouldn’t want to disagree with them too much on anything, it might get a bit, er uncomfortable….oh, and whatever you do, don’t say ‘It’s only a TV show’….might not be good for your health!
South Western - too sexy to fly….
Author: tulip
Ahhh, South Western Airlines - the airline with a sense of humour, the fewest complaints and a nice line in fashion police. Yes that’s right, a woman was told she was not appropriately dressed to fly. Was she a member of the flight crew…nope. Was the dress really that short….nope. Can anyone think of any good reason why….er nope? You cannot believe that people can make this big a screw up in the public relations stakes can you….Oh, you can! Whoever was the cabin crew responsible for the decision, they messed up here and overstepped the mark, but it is a very strange job. There are not many jobs where on one hand you are totally subservient to the passengers wishes, while having to maintain authority.
Passengers expect you to serve them and cater to their every whim. OK, so maybe in the old days when ‘The Jetset’ meant something and planes were not glorified buses, but the attitude still remains in these days of no frills flying Read the rest of this entry »
Not so cool for cats
Author: tulip
Another story from Oz-land and this case the story of a pet cat that started acting a bit oddly; it couldn’t settle down, had a racing heartbeat, dilated pupils….you are ahead of this aren’t you!? Yep apparently they owners had been hosting a party where they served the 3 C’s after dinner; Cheese, Coffee and Cocaine. Our little moggy friend had apparently helped himself to the leftovers while the party continued on elsewhere…..
Schools announce ‘We suck’
Author: tulip
This is one of those moments when you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. A school in Ohio has suspended a pupil who tricked the fans of their local rival school to hold up signs saying ‘We suck’….. So being very clever (either than or the other kids were remarkably dumb) and ingenious gets you punished, that’s one life lesson I think really needs to be taught. How about another one - Read the rest of this entry »
Hot Sex? Maybe not quite that hot though…
Author: tulip
You have got to feel sorry for these guys. It’s your first time, so you’ve planned it down to the last detail - you’ve got your best lingerie, soft music is playing, candles are burning…as are the curtains, the rest of the room and in fact pretty much the entire house!! If this wasn’t bad enough, you then get pictures of yourselves, naked, in amongst the wreckage of the house, published in one of the country’s biggest papers. It’s true, you do never forget your first time……
