Deliver Us From Swedish Furniture » Daily Mail Approved

Barak Obama in Alcohol and Schoolgirl Strippers shame….

tulip — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:18:44 +0000

So according to the good old Beeb, Barak Obama’s extended familiy live in a small town west of London in the UK. In 1997 his half-sister got married and he came over for the wedding and was also invited along to the stag party. The first stop was the ‘Three Frogs’ pub, but after a few drinks and a change of venue to ‘The Rose’ pub things got a little more fruity as the usual shanaigans associated with Stag Parties in the UK started up. Traditionally this usually involes lots of shots, drinking games, general humilation of the groom…oh yeah and a stripper, in this case dressed as a schoolgirl. However in this case as the stripper arrived Barak Obama made a hasty exit and went to bed…..no fun is he, shame

South Western – too sexy to fly….

tulip — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 15:17:42 +0000

Ahhh, South Western Airlines – the airline with a sense of humour, the fewest complaints and a nice line in fashion police. Yes that’s right, a woman was told she was not appropriately dressed to fly. Was she a member of the flight crew…nope. Was the dress really that short….nope. Can anyone think of any good reason why….er nope? You cannot believe that people can make this big a screw up in the public relations stakes can you….Oh, you can! Whoever was the cabin crew responsible for the decision, they messed up here and overstepped the mark, but it is a very strange job. There are not many jobs where on one hand you are totally subservient to the passengers wishes, while having to maintain authority.
Passengers expect you to serve them and cater to their every whim. OK, so maybe in the old days when ‘The Jetset’ meant something and planes were not glorified buses, but the attitude still remains in these days of no frills flying. On the other hand though, air cabin crew are responsible for the safety of the passengers and have to act in the same way as, for example, a fireman. When they check that you have your belt on they also need to check that the buckle is fastened with the release ever on the outside. I have seen people be really rude to the cabin crew when they are asked to make sure it is the right way round as it can seem a bit pedantic, but this one thing was found responsible for many deaths. One crash investigation found that after a plane caught fire on the runway it filled with smoke. Of those that did not escape the majority were stuck in their seats with the belt buckle fastened the wrong way round and they could not find the lever. So the crew have to learn to be very firm with the passengers when their authority is questioned…however it sounds like this showed itself here as a bad misjudgement compounded by a series of crew determined not to have their authority questioned…….

Schools announce ‘We suck’

tulip — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 12:25:26 +0000

This is one of those moments when you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. A school in Ohio has suspended a pupil who tricked the fans of their local rival school to hold up signs saying ‘We suck’….. So being very clever (either than or the other kids were remarkably dumb) and ingenious gets you punished, that’s one life lesson I think really needs to be taught. How about another one - A school in Colorado Springs has banned Tag because some kids felt they were being harrassed and chased against their will….. how can you chase someone against their will? That has got to be the most boring game known to mankind. I stand there and you tag me, I can’t imagine that being top of the Amazon.com lists in the near future. Kids have an attention span of 15 nano-seconds before they get bored and move on…..unless they are just antagonising and bullying the other kid. Bullying is a serious issue, but rather than address the actual issue, the school bans the game….

Chav Hunt – a bad thing apparently…..

tulip — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 01:00:15 +0000

Don’t piss me off – or it’ll cost you £80

tulip — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 15:46:57 +0000

This one was pretty funny, an American living in Peterborough was ‘advised’ by a warden (whatever one of those is!) that his t-shirt could cause offence or ‘incite violence’. So what did this shirt say – ‘The holocaust never happened’? ‘A Jihad on you and your clean shaven face’? ‘George W Bush is an intelligent, cultured, warm human being’? No it said ‘Don’t piss me off, I am running out of places to hide the bodies’ – I know what you are thinking….RIIIIIIIIOOOT!
I mean really, the only people that could possibly be offended by that are obviosuly so anal that the nearest thing to violence they will get is pushing down a bit too hard on the keyboard when they write to their MP, Points Of View and The Daily Mail.

Now if there is anyone out there that makes T-Shirts and feels like ripping off that design they could be onto a winner, how much free advertising do you want!! (PS if you send me one, I will happily plug it too